861 Days

That's how long it's been since I last posted my first and only blog post!! 
A lot has happened between then and now... Here is a quick rundown:

• I had my 3rd child. My second daughter. She is silly, a doll, and growing up WAY too fast.

• We moved across town into a new and beautiful home. 

• I decided was convicted that not only am I supposed to be a SAHM, but I was to be my children's teacher. We start Kindergarten in January! 

• I am on a quest to lose #30before30.

The big thing going on currently is my Facebook Fast. I have become way too addicted to the ease of mindless scrolling to see what everyone else is up to. In an effort to avoid deactivating my account, I tried numerous tactics. I deleted a lot of "friends." I unfollowed 90% of the remaining friends I kept. I deleted a majority of the groups I'm in and pages I follow. I moved the app from my main apps used page. I've taken the app off my phone several times, only to readd it when I want to upload a picture (because you can only be all artsy fartsy edity through the app. Of course.) And even if the app is off of my phone, I can still get to it through Safari. BLAST! Every time I thought, "Yep, I need to deactivate..." I talked myself out of it. Because I need to sell things. Because I need it to create events for MNOs, birthday parties, park playdates. Because I need to keep up with my friends and family. Because I get lots of ideas and support from homeschool groups. Because of PICTURES.

Well, another big an even BIGGER thing going on currently is my relationship with Jesus. I have been focusing on the word "Listen." And for a while there, I was not listening to what God wanted me to do. I heard Him whispering to me and nudging me, but my flesh is weak and did not want to listen. Until finally, a week ago, I realized that I could find no balance, no moderation, when it came to my Facebook usage. I felt so chained. Even when the app is moved, my fingers would find it without me meaning to. Anytime I would get on my phone, I would find myself clicking the app and then kicking myself for clicking in! When the app was not on my phone, I would just get on through Safari. 

I am not as productive. I am too distracted. I am missing out on my children. I am missing out on God. So I decided to fast it. I deactivated a week ago, with the intention of staying off for 2 weeks. It's starting to fade, but initially I felt very irritated and ill that I wasn't able to get on. Which one, made/makes me feel crazy that it had/has such a hold on me, and two, makes me know for sure I made the right decision to leave. And even though I said I would only fast for two weeks, I have been thinking about not getting back on when the time is up. Not 100% sure what I will do, but if I can rid myself of this addiction, I'm not sure it will be worth going back to. 

So if you are reading this, I would greatly appreciate your prayers. Prayers that I can get through this. Prayers that I will know if I should go back or leave it altogether. Prayers that I have the ability to put my priorities in order.

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

~1 Corinthians 10:13